This is one pointless blog.
I feel like writing this out of no particular reason. I don't know, I just gave myself a paper cut and it's quite annoying because I've been giving myself paper cuts lately and my pet bird has been attacking my fingers giving me "puncture wounds" which make my hands look fugly.
My throat is all raspy and my voice sounds like a smoking hooker's.
So far my winter break has been....uneventful and boring and lame. It's been quite confusing for me, and frankly, quite depressing. It's been quite emotional and stuff....no it is not PMS. It's more like if I should be pissed or if I should let things go or if I do I'll seem like I'm easy, but if I don't I'll seem like I take everything too seriously. Ugh but whatever. No one's going to know this anyways. The people who know me, know me as the emotional lonely girl who ends up getting herself into drama or confusion or whatnot....maybe it's one of those pisces things... I'm not that into my whole horoscope, I read it daily for fun mostly to laugh how way off it is.
I personally think Pisces is a retarded sign...pretty much a potpourri of all the previous signs before so technically that means...we own! haha No. Yes.
My love life is...non-existent. I really don't feel like trying to look for anyone, it's just one of those things. I don't feel like putting up with all the effort. It's kind of funny how all your friends have someone and your like the only one who doesn't. It can be annoying to see your friends talk about their SO in front of you, it makes want to slap them more like "stfu or die". hmhmhm. Yep. Well my friends expect me to be bothered by this, but personally I've grown immune to that bf/gf crap. I guess you might call me a cynic on love. Well whenever I hear people say "I Love you" where I go (high school) daily, I find it ridiculous how people just throw those words around. Sure I believe you when you say "I love him/her" then 3 weeks later its a break-up. I don't believe in any of it. It's one of those things that the media has overemphasized and made to seem like the only thing you should be doing in your life (looking not the "making"). I might end up like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City with no one after all her friends have found someone. Or that chick form "Hitch" who doesn't believe in it. Hmm right now, I truly don't know much about it, but hey, whatever comes my way, happens. I'm just letting things go as they are. Unfortunately for me, it's always constant, but mostly down in a constant motion. I guess I'm unluckyor lacking in some sort of thing (looks, charisma...etc?). Well, if and/or when I find that guy who can put up with all my confusing mood swings and emotions, I will be truly grateful that there is someone out there that can tolerate my emotional crap (by tolerate, I do not mean simply ignore)
Wow, I've noticed this blog has been mostly about my non-existent love life. hmm. That's interesting. I don't expect people to read this, this was pretty much for my own "ranting" necessities.

It's this wrenching feeling in your stomach, like you want to cry, but you dare not say why aloud.
Like something is missing and you're not fully satisfied.
It feels like you want to cry, but you can't find a reason why.


I don't know, I feel this emotion is quite pointless, or maybe I'm too tetchy. It's more like wishing you knew what you really wanted or felt and why you felt it. I don't know, maybe it's because my finger hurts, or because I can't understand this stupid math homework, or because I'm lonely, or some other reason. Whatever reason that may be, it sucks, and it hurts.

Now I do feel like crying.

hahaha I got your attention. I dunno. Yea whoever reads this...I don't love you...unless I know you. lol. hmmm yep. I don't know why, but I've been feeling quite amorous lately and stuff. Physical needs (no, not sexual, garsh). Warm fuzzy feelings and such. I guess it's a way of like...opening up, or something. I feel different this year, like things just seem to be getting better,along with me. I feel like I changed, well I don't know that for sure, I'd have to rely on an outside, reliable source for that, but it feels...better. Maybe since last year was so shitty, it's like a do-over and this year will be fairly well. Even thinking about last year makes me cry...litteraly. Good thing that's done over with, now all I can do now is just wait for things.